Anyone else crying after getting off?

It's been a month and 2 weeks and only just been able to start getting turned on again. But immediately after I complete the act, I burst into tears out of nowhere.

I was cheated on and dumped out of a long term relationship. I'm demisexual and extremely monogamous so for a whole year I only ever thought of him while getting off. And due to the cheating I can't even watch porn without imagining it's him and what he's doing/did with other girls.

Feel like my sex life is completely ruined. Along with my self esteem. How do I even begin to repair this?