I feel regret and shame from my past relationship. I want to tell her I’m sorry for hurting her.

We broke up because I told her I liked another girl (huge mistake). And it shattered her self esteem and trust in me. She had been worrying about this girl for a while and I kept telling her it’s nothing to worry about until I finally revealed I had a crush on her. Stupid, silly thing to do because I’m not even into this girl anymore. I didn’t see the value of the relationship I had and didn’t know how much it would emotionally damage my partner by doing something like that.

I want to reach out to her and tell her I’m sorry. But I don’t want to re-open that wound for two reasons. One because she might be healing and hearing from me would mess that up. Two because she actually reached to me a couple months ago, lashing out at me. I’m scared if I re-open the discussion she will get even more angry and try cause harm to me in some way. I’m also scared that if I don’t reach out at all she will plot against me and do something to hurt me or my life.

I wish that I could go back in time and never hurt her. I feel so bad about doing that.