First breakup -- need someone to talk to

Hi Reddit. Never thought I'd post anything on this app, but this is really, really hard. A little over 2 months ago, my first boyfriend broke up with me. We were together for 2.5 years. I miss him. I miss him like crazy. He's the first thing I think about in the morning, and my last thought before I go to sleep. Our relationship wasn't perfect, we weren't perfect, but I loved him and thought that meant we could get through anything. We're no contact now, but it's so hard to fight the urge to just send one simple text. There have been two times so far where I couldn't fight it anymore and called him. Hearing his voice made everything feel better. But then the calls would end. And that was that. The thing is, he's never been the one to break contact. And it just makes me feel sort of pathetic, like it's so much easier for him. That's probably not the case, but I keep imagining that he's so much happier without me and it kills me. It's so hard to accept that he's not my person. I wanted it to be him so bad. I genuinely believed that I would marry him one day. But now that future is gone. And I can't help but feel that it's not fair. I want all of this pain and grief to just go away, but I know that it will take time. Still, it's so, so hard to just live with it every day. I miss my boy. Why couldn't it have just been him? Anyways, thank you for taking the time to read this.

Edit: Thank you so much to everyone who has reached out and is sharing their experiences. My heart goes out to all of you, I hope that we can all find peace one day 💗