Am I Being Unfaithful?

UPDATE :

This post seems get too many attention than I expected. Thank you for those sharing some kind words and negativity from some of you too. I appreciate both opinions. You guys entitled to your perspective.

Here the shorter version to whomever are late and want to know the context of my original post.

Back in 2015, I met my best friend’s childhood friend, and we clicked instantly. He was kind, thoughtful, and very respectful and gentleman. I developed feelings for him but never confessed, afraid of rejection. For five years, I dropped hints through gifts, road trips, and time spent together, but I convinced myself he did not feel the same.

Eventually, I moved on and got into a relationship with my now-husband. That was when he started pulling away. We remained friends but a years later, out of nowhere, he admitted he had liked me all along but never confessed, afraid of ruining our friendship.

His confession left a hiccup for me, for years, I thought I had been alone in my feelings.

Despite that, I told him the truth. I could not love him anymore. I had someone else who was good to me, and I could not break his heart just to fulfill my own. We stayed friends, and a year later, he even attended my wedding as my bridesmaid.

A week after my wedding, he invited me to lunch, just the two of us. We always had lunch together, sometimes with my husband too. I thought we just having another lunch as usual, but I later realized it was his way of getting closure. That day, he finally let it all out, telling me how much he loved and respected me. He wanted our final moment together to be a good memory before he let go.

A month later, I learned from my other friend that he moved to Kuwait as medical specialists, and we lost contact. It has been two years, and yet, memories of him still linger. I love my husband more than ever, I devoted 100% of myself towards him. But I cannot seem to shake this feeling of guilt. He has moved on with his life, and I wish I knew how to do the same. Human are flawed, at least I think I am. Like we build this way, there is no switch to turn off feeling for good or erasing all the memories with a snap of a finger.

For those assuming things, no, there was nothing inappropriate between us. He was always respectful, and honored my dignity and my husband knew him well. That lunch was never meant to be a secret, and there was nothing beyond friendship. It was simply his way of saying goodbye.

One fine day, I wish this memories fade away and become just another long lost thought. I am now focusing completely towards my marriage.