DROP YEAR IS FUCKING TRAUMATIZING ( i just want bits so badly man)

bits goa was always my dream college since i came to know about it, last year i had 225 in bitsat in one of the difficult shift and 95 percentile in mains lost bits by 9 marks, i studied very hard in drop year everything was going good scoring good in mocks but fucked my jan attempt brutally 93 percentile 22s1, since then i feel like loosing my momentum having self doubt and tension bout my future, my parents dont have any hopes from me, and the loneliness having 0 friends to talk , making me depress day by day, I just fucking want bitsgoa so badly it comes in my dream every fucking day since 9 july 2024 when bits iteration 1 result came. man life sucks now, idk what to do, mein thak gaya hu haar exam mein haag ke fir wapis grind karna yaar its being more than fucking 3 years when i joind fitjee in class 10 in 2021 .