Ex-girlfriend is now my boss

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/TartLimp3997 

Originally posted to r/Ratschlag 

Posts were translated from German to English.

Ex-Girlfriend is now my boss at my new job, how to handle it? March 2, 2025

I’ll try to keep this as short as possible:

My now ex-girlfriend broke up with me out of nowhere two months ago after 2.5 years together and moved back to her hometown (same state). After that, I applied for the job she used to have (a position at the local hardware store for an external company that handles shelf maintenance) because I was unemployed at the time and needed a job quickly. I got the job, and that’s when I found out that she has now been promoted to regional manager (since the previous one left).

Now, on Monday, I have my first day of work, and she along with another regional manager will be training me (tomorrow and Tuesday). Ever since I found out, I’ve been dreading tomorrow. Since last night, I’ve had terrible stomach cramps and nausea because I have no idea how to handle this situation, and I’m realizing that I’m still not over her.

What should I do? How can I handle this situation better?

Update March 3, 2025

Hello Community, there is an update on my post from yesterday, but first, I want to say this: I really want to thank everyone who gave me advice, encouraged me, or simply shared their opinion. I couldn’t respond to the comments due to the sheer number and lack of time, which some people even pointed out in private messages, but I read every single one and was able to take some of the advice to heart.

Now for the actual update:

I went in and just focused on learning everything first. The regional manager made a really good impression on me right away, and that impression only got better throughout the day. I started at 07:30, and around 9, he mentioned that he had to go to the train station soon. At that moment, I knew exactly what he meant, he was going to pick up my ex. He must have noticed my reaction because he immediately followed up by saying that he wanted to ask me something a bit more personal:

Namely, what kind of relationship I had with her. I was completely honest and told him that she was my ex-girlfriend. He then asked if that was going to be a problem for me. I took a moment to think and then said, if I’m being honest, which he immediately encouraged, yes, it is a problem for me. It’s still very fresh, and I’m absolutely not over it yet.

He reassured me that this wasn’t an issue at all, he had sensed that there was something between us but didn’t know exactly what, which is why he wanted to ask. He then said he would simply assign her to a completely different department so that we barely have to interact and that we should just try to make the best of the situation.

As it turns out, it’s not even certain that she’ll get the position. For now, she’s just attending a coaching/training session today and tomorrow. On top of that, it seems like the regions for managers will be significantly reduced because they will also be taking on a floating role within the company. This means that even if she does get the job, there’s a good chance she’ll be assigned to a completely different region due to the distance.

I’m feeling a lot better now, and I just want to thank all of you again for reading and commenting!

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