I wish she broke up with me instead.

I broke up with my pwBPD 2 days ago and she keeps holding onto me. After 7 months of showing her nothing but love, while she keeps intruding on every part of my life and taking everything from me. Friends, family, school, work if i gave her the chance, the one thing i held onto, the one thing i didnt ket her take control over, she completely flips out on me in a last-ditch effort to pull it away.

She had no life outside of our relationship so she decided to infect and be apart of every single part of mine so she had full control, privacy was non-existent. I couldnt have one sleep alone not on facetime. I couldnt go anywhere without her “approval” my physical and mental health was declining as i continued to sacrifice my time and energy to keep her happy. I started to get good at avoiding her episodes which made her attach even harder.

In the end i explained everything clearly to her on how i felt. But till the very end she continued to emotionally blackmail me into staying. She was so confident i wouldnt leave so she would make me feel like shit about what she did to herself.

I decided to choose myself… i decided on my future i cannot be tied to this woman for my entire life and for once i stood up for myself and i didnt make the mirst mistake of letting her control me.

I stood my ground and it is complete torture, she wont let me go. Ive told her everything, yet she has twisted everything so bad to where im obligated to still take care of her, she continues to depend on me and it hurts so bad to watch her grab hold of me while im trying to pull away.

Its the worst pain ive ever felt.

I know the simple solution will to cut off all contact but she has made herself apart of my life, she does the things that i do now and goes to the places i go because i gave her a life. She begs and pleads for me to stay and that she will change.

I feel like complete shit. I feel like i completely abandoned her, i feel like i left her in the worst spot, i feel like i left her when she had nothing, i feel responsible for what she does to herself, i feel like i turned cruel snd cold and i hate it, i feel like i would e waited, i feel like we couldve worked if i just continued the way i was, i feel like it wasnt that bad.

I need reassurance, please tell me she will move on, preferably fast.

If anyone is going through-or has gone through-the same thing i can post screenshots of the messages or something idk.

I dont know what to do, she wants to stay apart of my life which i dont even have a problem with, outside of romance we still get along really well. But i just cant keep her close to me and i keep trying to tell her that isnt what she needs either.