Is This What a BPD Discard Feels Like? I Don’t Recognize Him Anymore

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Hi everyone,

I’m really struggling to process what just happened. A week ago, we had one of the biggest fights we’ve ever had. It was intense, emotional, and honestly overwhelming. Afterward, we agreed to take some space to let things cool down. I thought we were just hitting pause, that we’d come back and talk things through like we always do.

But when I reached out to him, it felt like I was talking to a completely different person. The man I knew—who I loved and felt so close to—was just… gone. He’s cold, distant, and unrecognizable. It’s like he’s erased everything we’ve ever had.

He’s only texting, refusing to actually talk, and every message is dripping with negativity. He’s taking low blows, saying things that cut so deep, and won’t even acknowledge the implications of his actions or take any accountability. I keep trying to get through to him, to find some semblance of the person I cared for, but all I get is stonewalling.

I’m sitting here wondering if this is what people mean when they talk about a “BPD discard.” It feels like he’s flipped a switch, and now I’m just… nothing to him. I don’t understand how someone can go from being so close to acting like a stranger.

I feel so lost and confused. Has anyone else been through this? How do you cope when someone you thought you knew so well suddenly becomes unrecognizable?

Any advice or insights would mean the world to me right now. Thank you