im losing myself

i 16f, recently started talking to this guy he was nice to me and that made me feel a sense of attachment we became fwb but not really because we just texted each other and sent photos, i started getting really paranoid about him being annoyed and what if he talked about me to his friends so i messaged him asking if im too much to handle and he said im a lot and i made him uncomfortable and i didn't want that to happen at all because he is uncomfortable with me i apologized and he said it's okay but it's not okay all i do is make others uncomfortable and i literally have no friends and whenever someone is nice to me in the slightest i get attached and put them up on a pedestal i know he doesn't like me but i like him (romantically) im not subtle about it and that probably made him uncomfortable it made me really upset and angry when he started talking about his ex too and i got jealous even though we aren't even dating and what is wrong with me because my last friendship ended this way it's gonna happen soon and i will be alone again, people will laugh at me i bet he thinks im super ugly too

it's important context that i was going to go over to his house a few weeks ago to engage in intimate activity (it would have been my first time) but i got really frustrated and upset so i told him i couldn't go and now it feels like no one will ever be able to handle me im never going to be able to be normal it's so annoying it makes me want to die why is he treating me like this too i feel like im trapped in a loop of people leaving i hate it so much all i do is apologize and cry and then screw up again i think that i just wanted that feeling of love from a male it's really funny because he hes bisexual male pref and im also bisexual but jbecause it felt so impossible that someone like him could ever want anything from me so when he asked if i could come over i got really hyped but then it just ended in me feeling like garbage because i was too depressed to even eat or get out of bed i dojt want to hurt other people anymore i want to isolate myself and let loneliness consume me my only purpose is to please others but nothing stays