Where do you find motivation?

I don’t know if this is an avpd thing or not but I’m constantly battling a lack of motivation to do just about anything. I have an okay job that I dislike and is a waste of my ability. It pays my bills and I save a lot. Mostly because there’s nothing I want to spend my money on.

I’ve travelled a ton for work and school, so I don’t want to travel. I have all of the musical instruments I could want. I bought a house and paid it off with my family’s help. I got my college education for free so my college fund was mine to use.

I have half friendships that I find unfulfilling. I’m at the age and point in my life where I should probably forget about a marriage and kids. Not that I event want those anyways. My creative projects are a waste of time. I don’t like video games, children, or volunteering. Religion is dishonest and useless. I travel too much to have pets. Athletics kind of ruined my body and psyche so I don’t want to do that again. I can do the bare minimum of chores and self care and what not. Now that I’m thinking about it, I don’t even like sleeping or resting.

I’m in therapy but I don’t really want to keep going. I don’t really see a point. I don’t see a point in anything. I’m not depressed. I can still go to work and half take care of myself. I couldn’t do either of those things when I was depressed. Plus I still enjoy drinking. I couldn’t even do that when I was depressed.

Do any of y’all deal with this?