DIAGNOSED people here: how did you know you have exactly this disorder?

I'm sorry if this question is not new here! If there were some discussions already, please send me the link!

So, I'm dying to know about what really determines (avoidant) personality disorder from particular issues like general anxiety, social anxiety, panic attacks, inferiority complex, and depression (I mean as a result of these problems). PD sounds very serious, even scary, and mostly associated with "psychopaths" (not exactly antisocial PD, but also borderline PD, OC PD, etc.), and I perfectly understand that only a doctor can tell and distinguish it exactly. But how can one at least guess if their personality is really "broken" or if they just have personality accentuations and "general" anxiety bc of psychological issues?

Of course, AvPD shares many traits with "neurodevirgent" people, and one can suspect having ASD instead of PD. I myself still feel confused about that, but I really doubt I'm on the spectrum, really.

Well, I've been having ALL AvPD symptoms for more than 7 years already (there were always some traits in childhood). But my own perception of this "condition" is really unstable and changes with my "mood" and really depends on the situation: sometimes I think that I'm almost "normal," but the same day I can have a breakdown and think that I'm completely insane.

I would love to hear your thoughts