Difference between a boundary and a price of admission in a relationship

One of my favorite podcasters talks about a price of admission in a relationship - something that isn’t likely to change that you don’t like or doesn’t work for you…so you have to decide if it’s worth dealing with or accepting in order to be in the relationship.

The of course there are also boundaries we set.

I’m struggling to figure out if something in my relationship is a price of admission or a boundary I need to establish. And what that looks like.

My bf of 6 months smokes a lot of weed. Daily. Multiple times a day. I asked him once how long it would take him to be fully sober and she said prob 3-5 days of not smoking. Based on that info, I’ve probably never seen him completely sober.

I’ve started experimenting with weed since meeting him. It was always something I was curious about and with him I feel safe enough to try. It’s fun in some ways but sometimes brings out part of my personality I don’t love (insecure).

So I don’t want to say I’m against weed or that I don’t want to be with someone who smoke. Or even someone who smokes regularly.

But something about his usage does bother me. And I’ve been having a hard time putting my finger on exactly what. He treats me well and is very kind and genuine. I will say when he’s high and I’m not sometimes he interrupts me or it’s hard to have a conversation with him. But after months of going back and forth on this I think I’ve just come to the simple conclusion that I’m not comfortable with how much/often he smokes and how much a part of his life it is. I wish I could say more specifically why…but I can’t seem to figure that out. But…as much as he is the same person high or sober…I want to be with a partner who is sometimes sober.

So now I’m trying to figure out what to do. I love him a lot and really see a future. But I’m not sure what kind of boundary to set or if this is just a price of an admission I have to decide if I want to pay or not.

He had a previous relationship that ended in part bc of his usage. I think I can safely say if the choice is between me or weed, he will choose weed. But his ex wanted him to stop entirely. I’m not asking for that.

I also don’t want to be the weed police. I don’t want to know how frequently he’s smoking. I don’t want him to feel he has to hide it. He’s actually commented how he doesn’t feel the shame around it that he used to since we’ve been dating.