App dating makes me feel invisible and crazy…how do you get men to message back?

I’m new to app dating (took about 4 years off of dating after my last relationship ended), and I am completely puzzled by how different my experience is from what I’ve read about others’. I haven’t been on a date yet because I have not gotten a reply from any of my matches, and I’m asking about this here because I’m in my late 30s and swiping on men 35+ (it feels like folks here would be more attuned to this situation than a general dating advice sub).

I thought I was going about it the “right” way — my profile is upbeat and gives a sense of personality, my pictures are decent, and I swipe pretty generously. I’m not picky about looks or job, but I do read bios and look for wit or common interests. When I get a match, I always message first with something specific from their profile…but I’m like 0 for 40 on getting a message back.

Is this just how apps are, or am I doing something wrong?