How do you deal with regret?

I’m someone who consistently second guesses my decisions. I REALLY struggle with regret.

I have never-ending thought loops I can’t control. I spiral about things I didn’t do, could’ve done… even when objectively I know I did the best I could at the time.

I often think I’ve ruined my whole life, when really, I’ve done some good things.

It doesn’t matter how many times I hear, “You did what you thought was best at the time” or “You can’t change that, so why worry?” I just keep beating myself up.

Example: - I’ve just moved cities at age 37, and I’m walking around thinking. “Why didn’t I do this sooner. Why didn’t u do this in my 20s? That would’ve been the right time.”

• I broke up with a lovely man in my late twenties because I just couldn’t settle down at the time. I think about it constantly. “My life would have been better.” But I know I would’ve regretted that too!

We all have regrets, even the people who say #noregrets. Of course we would do things differently with the experience we know now.

But even though people have regrets, they seem more at peace with their decisions and how life has ended up.

My question. How do you make peace with your mistakes? How do you live with, and let go of, regrets?

Note: I’m sober, medicated, and in therapy. So am well into my healing journey, but still struggling with my thought processes.