To what extent is porn realistic?

They say one potential danger of pornography is that it may create misconceptions in men (or women) of what intimacy should be like with the opposite gender. I am not the most sexually experienced individual; I'm in my early 30s and had only 4 sexual partners in my life. But I have watched porn before and have certain kinks which I have confided in my partners; interestingly most of them were on board with it. My first two were short flings so I can't say to what extent they were on board with it. But the third, my ex, was very on board. I met my ex through an app during the peak COVID. She 8 years older but I wouldn't have guessed by just looking at her; one of my kinks have always been older women. The sex with her was great and she was definitely not shy about it; I recall she'd always make high-pitched moaning noises just like I'd hear when watching porn and she was always open to trying new things. Over time, I confided in her some of my fantasies (often categories I'd look up when I watched porn) that I hoped we could try to spice things up; she was on board and even bought accessories. When we got together, we would spend hours upon hours in bed and if I hadn't said anything, it felt like she could go on nonstop.

Eventually our relationship ended and I found someone new. My current partner is my age but she couldn't be any different from my ex (or previous partners for that matter). She is less sexually experienced than I am, having only one partner before me. I don't think she hates intimacy but she doesn't like anything that my ex [supposedly] enjoyed. She doesn't like trying different positions, giving oral, letting me touch her breasts, wearing lingerie, etc. This is becoming an issue because we've recently discussed starting our own family and well, it's going to difficult if I can't climax easily with her not enjoying the same spiciness in our intimacy as I am used. But when my ex and I had our breakup conversation, she mentioned how I was actually unbearable to her especially in the bedroom and that every time after I leave, she would cry almost nonstop; that was super out of left field for me because she never mentioned that once so I genuinely thought she enjoyed everything we did together. So in the, maybe porn did actually ruin intimacy for me? Or am I just sexually incompatible with my current partner? I'm really not sure what to make of this.

On a related note, during our breakup convo, my ex also mentioned how she needed to be married soon because she was pushing 40 and didn't think I'd be a good husband for her because I was too young and thus too immature for her and how I didn't discuss any future prospects with her and apparently she had been thinking of breaking up with me since the beginning. Well she knew our age gap when we began dating so it seemed weird she'd suddenly bring that up later. As for the future, what future were we even supposed to discuss? Again this was during the height of COVID. None of us knew how long the lockdowns were going to last or how that would impact our jobs, living situations or health. Like there was so much uncertainty that the best thing to do then was to wait it out before making any concrete plans for the future. Regardless I could tell she wasn't being genuine because she put on a fake crying face (lack of tears and still speaking fully coherent sentences). I tried to convince her otherwise but she insisted she "gave me enough chances" even though again, she never brought any of this up with me before. She even mentioned how this breakup would mean little to me because I was still young (late 20s) and I'll find someone new easily while she was old and running out of time. I figured she might just be upset and just needed some time to think at first. After about two months, I tried to get in touch with her again as I felt we didn't get proper closure but it turned out she already started seeing someone else whom she would be engaged to only a few months later. Now it all made sense: she was probably seeing this other guy and me at the same time and she chose the other guy.