Suddenly gay at 55?

I wanted to ask cuz I'm having a super hard time accepting that my husband is gay. I always new something was off in our marriage, he said he had a erectile dysfunction, sex stopped after first 6-months of a 13 year marriage. I left the home last year. 2 outside cameras, front & back. 1 inside camera basement only. I recently discovered men coming over, I saw them in the basement and my husband dressed has a woman. I just recently saw my husband on Grindr, I saw him right at the right moment cuz he keeps his profile hidden, if I didn't do a fake profile of myself and go on at the exact moment he was on, I would of never seen. His profile said, Hi, I love to suck & swallow & bottom but can be versatile, & when I cross dress my name is *****. So help me to understand. He's 55 years old. Did he just discover himself? Was he trying to be a husband & after I left decided to do this? Was he doing this all along secretive in our marriage? If he wasn't having sex with me cuz of his erectile dysfunction does that mean he was doing this instead? Any guys advice welcomed here! I did just file for divorce. But he says he SO hurt over our divorce, so I don't get it cuz I tried to reconcile but he don't want to. So why he so hurt? I think he just hurt cuz I'm not there being just a cook & a maid anymore.