No sex in over 3 years

Married 4 years. As soon as I moved in while getting engaged sex diminished. Always excuses, he never slept in the bed with me. We only had sex to have our baby. He continued to never sleep in the same bed and i did end up saying that was fine because once the baby was born I’ll wake up with her. So he never once woke up with the baby. He told me he would wake up…..and I said and then what? And he said well I’d look at the monitor, turn it off and go back to sleep. This caused a lot of resentment. Moved into a new place so baby had her own room and husband slept in the bed because I begged him to not sleep on the couch anymore. So I tried to initiate sex and then he told me he can’t get hard. He’s very unhealthy and got diagnosed with diabetes. He got medication but nothing has worked. I am 30 and he’s 48. I started to work 1.5 years after having my daughter and got a lot of attention at work. He also told me I’d never work again once having a child, which is not something I wished but I would do if he wanted. But then we didn’t have enough money. So he started hounding me about how much my paycheck was. He doesn’t take care of himself. I lost interest. I’ve said that multiple times now. He even has a fungal nail issue and says even though he can’t get hard he can finger me but I obviously don’t want that….im clearly uninterested after all this time and not attracted. I don’t even feel like counseling atp. But he makes more money than me. How do I live on my own with my daughter making 60-70k in San Diego? Who do I talk to for help?