Will someone explain why women flirt by being mean?

Just something I’ve wondered since being in the Midwest. I’m from the south and it’s new to me. I get teasing to get your attention, but being mean? Idk I’m lost, I never have a clue I’m getting hit on until it’s all over

Edit: I also should mention that I am considered to be “too innocent” most of the time. I’ve never had a fair life like most people, I’ve experienced pain on deep levels and was resilient enough to bounce back from each incident. All in all I still choose to be kind outwardly because I don’t want others to feel how I feel. Don’t get me wrong if someone is utterly disrespectful, I stand up and command respect and put them in their place with a fierceness they weren’t expecting. It only takes a piece of me to become fierce but that’s draining to be that way all the time so I just choose to be kind. Which gets taken for weakness, I guess it is my fault idk