Advice: I can’t cum when I feel pressured

This has been happening more frequently lately during hook ups. A guy will want to make me cum and start asking me what he can do. Or if I get close and he can tell he’ll be saying things like “cum for me.” Sometimes a guy will keep asking if I’m close or keep saying he wants my load.

All of those things make me feel pressured to cum and it not only makes it harder to cum but usually makes me lose my boner too.

I usually cum easiest when I’m not the focus. A lot of times I’ll cum when I’m sucking a guy and he’s getting close or cumming. Or if he’s fucking me and I can tell he’s fucking me in a way that he loves and is driving him crazy it’ll get me there. Or if it’s a threesome and they’re really into each other for a bit it’ll get me there.

It feels tricky cuz all the things I mentioned are really normal (in my experience) and honestly I’ll say a lot of that stuff too and most guys seem to cum more quickly from it. I don’t know how to say “I need less attention in order to cum.” Cuz it makes me feel like a weirdo to verbalize that. And if it’s casual sex, it feels vulnerable to talk about how when guys say stuff like that I feel a ton of pressure and it makes things harder for me.

I’m hoping for a shortcut or specific language that can maybe get this point across succinctly without being too much of a conversation.

I just tend to be more turned on by the other persons pleasure rather than all the focus being on my own. So solutions in the mean time for navigating this with one time hookups would be ideal.

Also open to advice on things I can do to work on this, but I imagine that will take more work, so less so the priority.