Should I Continue Talking to This Girl for Arranged Marriage

This is a continuation of my previous post.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Arrangedmarriage/comments/1intafj/should_i_value_outer_beauty_more_while_choosing/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

After my family met the girl’s family, her uncle visited our home on February 6 and formally gave their acceptance. However, when I messaged her later, she told me she needed more time and wasn’t even informed by her uncle or her dad when they gave the official acceptance. She also said she wanted to meet in person before making a decision.

I planned to meet her last week, but she initially told me she was going to her native place—then didn’t go. We finally met on February 20 in Dadar, and during our conversation, she asked me a few questions that felt a bit odd:

  1. How would I handle a dispute between your mom and me?
    • I said both would need to compromise and find a middle ground.
    • She replied, “What if the middle ground is not feasible?”
  2. She brought up her sister’s marriage to lower cast.
    • I wasn’t sure if she was testing my reaction, but should this even be a concern for me?Where I come from, it is not advisable to do so.
  3. She said my sister should have no say in our lives—under any circumstances.
  4. She questioned why my family approached hers.
    • She outright said she sees herself as “lower middle class” while I am “middle class,” and she was worried about potential problems in adjusting our thoughts and beliefs.
  5. She randomly brought up that she doesn’t like reading (I do, but I’m not an avid reader).
    • She also pointed out that my entire family enjoys reading, almost as she might not fit in our family. She hinted this couple of times

After the meeting, she told me she needed another week to decide.
However, the very next day, her father called my family and said it’s a YES from them.

At this point, I was losing patience because there seemed to be zero coordination between the girl and her family. When I expressed my hesitation (after everything we discussed), her father turned it around on me, saying that I was the one delaying things.

Now, about her family situation:

  • Her father has polio, and she and her elder sister have a joint responsibility of taking care of him.
  • Her 2nd and 4th uncles don’t have children, so she and her sister are expected to be involved in their care as well (though the 4th uncle’s responsibility is a bit less).
  • Her father stays at her sister’s home for 2-3 weeks every 30-40 days.
  • She wants to visit her parents every 15-30 days, either at her sister’s place or their native village.Our personal life as a couple might get affected as the initial years are very important for newly married couple

Honestly, I feel like this could become a long-term burden in terms of financial responsibility, frequent visits, or hospitalization needs.

Also, I might sound shallow/selfish, but I don’t find her that physically attractive. This is just my initial impression, as I don’t know her fully yet.

On the other hand, *she always initiates messages

Am I Overthinking This? Should I Continue Talking to Her?

Would love some honest opinions.