Why Women don't like living with in laws
Many women these days don't like living with man's family. Especially highly educated equally earning women.
Instead of showering this post with down votes I request fellow men and women to engage in constructive discussions.
This is to give a women's pov - collective opinion of many women. Many men face rejection when they ask the prospect to stay with man's parents.
But there are many poor, village, financially struggling girls who are comfortable staying with in laws.
You/your here is to address the man
Just think -
- She has studied and works a full time job. She is a individual. Why should she leave her parents, come to your house and work for your parents.
Why should any women live with your parents. Who will take care of her parents.
Many women are comfortable to stay at a independent house without either of your parents.
- Mother in laws, Parents in laws can be abusive. India has ten thousands of dowry death cases and millions of domestic abuse cases by in laws. Why should any women tolerate it.
Parents in laws prevent women from working, wearing the dress they like, hanging out with people whom they like etc.
Wife is expected to do everything - housework job satisfy relatives do all social duties etc.
There is extreme scrutiny on a women who moves into a joint family or family with parents in laws. She has no privacy.
Can she invite her friends and family over to your house? No. Or it is frowned upon. Basically she has no freedoms of her own.
- It's an arranged marriage -
People want the best. Including men and women. Women would obviously prefer a man who stays independently and not with parents in laws.
If it was love marriage - they have already fallen in love. Women may compromise for love. But there is no pre existing love in arranged marriage.
Especially for highly educational, employed women. They want an equal marriage which looks like a equal partnership.
- Love, Romance etc
Arranged Marriage is a commercial transactional process. So basically marriage happens on basis of looks, CTC or salary of the man, Dowry etc.
But these days many women want romance, spark, emotional connection etc. Whereas men just want a maid who is also his wife to take care of his parents, family, have kids etc.
In a joint family with parents. She has to make hundreds of compromises.
The couple never get to experience love or romance because of constant scrutiny. Everyone in the family gets to have a say in the marriage. Women has no independence.
Many women want to live with just the husband to see if that spark, romance, connection is happening.
It's very difficult to have romance in a joint family set up with parents around. There is literally no privacy.
- You maybe getting rejected because you are looking for educated, employed women.
If you are looking for housewives/more rural women/less qualified or educated - you can easily get a match who will stay with your parents.