Colleges reaction on different applications

ED1: Oh my god, we sincerely thank you for your application. Not only have you made excellent choice by applying to our prestigious university, you also are a valuable candidate yourself. We hope to review your application and (hopefully) admit you to our beautiful campus.

ED2: 💀💀 You got rejected from your top choice in ED1/EA/REA? Bro... you called us your second choice. I will instead go out with Derek who asked me to prom as soon as he saw me. Haha loser!! Get away from me, PEASANT!

RD: ☠️☠️☠️☠️💀☠️💀🤡🤡 Either your top choice didn't have ED or EA, or you have commitment issue. Like you are a valuable candidate, but jeez. Be ready to commit. Otherwise you are just the average Bob over there. And you know I don't go out with average Bob. Also your stats are literally in dumpster fire when compared to those who apply RD. So after taking L in ED1, ED2, you also take the big L in RD. Haha loser!!

I am sorry if this offended you. I just wanted to have a sense of comedy with this post because all these posts on this subreddit have been really sad. Most of us have been rejected from ED1 and thus, most of us have lost faith in ourselves.

Don't worry guys, I'll be joining you in appling ED2. Cheers to everyone!