I'm worried about the quality of my recommendation letter from Jesus Christ.

Hi guys. I'm not sure if Jesus put enough personal anecdotes about me in my recommendation letter. Like, okay, sure, He mentioned that one time I fed 5,000 people with two ramen packets in the dorm kitchen, but honestly, that was more His miracle than mine, right? I’m worried it sounds like He’s just taking credit.

Also, I told Him specifically to emphasize my leadership skills, but all He wrote was, "He followed Me very well and didn’t stray into temptation, like Peter did." I mean...thanks?

Plus, there was this part where He just said, "This applicant truly has a soul worth saving." Um, Jesus, I know you’re divine, but I kind of need a reference to my academic rigor here. When I asked Him to revise it, He just said, "The gates to Princeton are as narrow as the eye of a needle, and only the most righteous will enter," and went silent for three days.

And don’t even get me started on how He signed it. Like, I'm looking at this PDF attachment, and the only signature is "✞" — I don't think Common App is going to understand that, you know?

Jesus said he knew a guy, who knew an angel, who knew a guy that said to go to r/applyingtocollege for advice. Please let me know what you guys think. I need genuine advice.