I;m losing the battle

Everday im in pain since the last 3 months, although it has decreased compared to before but still its still a mental tirture. I wake up everyday dreading the BM and have pain for 6-7 hours. I dont know how long i can bear it. Ive been trying everything that is recommended here. Seen a CRS too but they made the situation worse. Surgery isnt an option for me due to various reason.

I cry everyday 😭