AITA for declining to celebrate Christmas with my boyfriend’s family and not inviting him to my family’s celebration?

For context, I (19F) am from the United States and currently a second-year university student in the UK. My boyfriend (23M) is British, recently finished his master’s, and is now working. We’ve been dating for 10 months, and he’s my first boyfriend. He’s been nothing but understanding, kind, and supportive throughout our relationship. I’ve met his parents and siblings twice, and both times were wonderful. His mom even told him she thinks I’m “the one.”

In late November, he asked if I’d like to spend Christmas with his family. He said everyone would love to have me there, and I thought it was sweet, but I declined. I’ve been feeling homesick and wanted to spend Christmas, a holiday that means a lot to me, with my family in South Dakota. When I told him, he seemed aloof for a few days. I went to his flat later to reassure him that I’d love to visit his family another time, but for me, Christmas is a family holiday. I now realize how that could’ve sounded dismissive. He looked hurt and asked, “Do you still love me?” and “Aren’t I your family?” I reassured him that I do love him, and things seemed fine after that.

About a week later, he surprised me by showing me a flight he’d booked to South Dakota for Christmas. Flights to South Dakota are expensive, especially internationally, and while the gesture was touching, I thought it was impulsive and unwise. I told him it wasn’t a good idea. For the first time, he got really upset, accusing me of not caring about him, not being serious about us, and thinking only of myself—all of which are untrue. I love him and value our relationship deeply. Knowing he was speaking out of hurt, I asked him to take a walk to cool off.

When he returned, I explained that he means everything to me, but I wasn’t ready for him to meet my family. To be honest, I’m nervous about how my family would react. I’m white, he’s Arab, and my family in rural South Dakota is not exposed to diversity. They’ve made ignorant, racist comments in the past. While they’d likely be polite to his face, I fear they might say something offensive or “jokingly” inappropriate. They also assume Arab = Muslim, even though he’s Christian. This ignorance embarrasses me, and I don’t want to put him in a situation where he might be hurt.

I didn’t tell him any of this, though. Instead, I said I felt it was too soon to “bring someone home,” as in my family, that’s often a precursor to engagement (which is true). He asked if he wasn’t “good enough,” and I reassured him that he’s perfect.

He then mentioned that the tickets were non-refundable. I started crying, apologizing for wasting his money and saying how much I wanted him there, just not right now. He asked me to leave and said he needed space. I flew back home nearly a week ago, and since then, we’ve only had brief phone conversations. He still texts me “I love you” and “Good night,” but he’s clearly distant and hurt. I don’t know if there’s anything I can do to fix this or reassure him.

So, AITA?