AITA For Leaving Boyfriend’s apartment in Middle of the Night

Me (32F) and my boyfriend (36M) do not live together. He lives roughly 30-45 minutes away across town. We often rotate between staying at his place and staying at my place. We have been doing this in the 10+ months we’ve been seeing each other.

I have been struggling with major anxiety lately due to my job and personal health. I’ve been taking regular anxiety medication and attempting more holistic approaches. My boyfriend is aware of this but due to his autism, is not the best at providing support.

Around midnight one night I woke up in a full blown panic attack; sweating, shaking, nauseated, chest pain, fast heart beat, plus shortness of breath. I tried calming myself down but was not able to. I honestly thought I was dying. Unfortunately I did not bring my lorazepam to his house, as I hadn’t really used it yet. I tried waking him up to help me but by 1am I realized that the only thing I needed was to go take my other medication.

I texted his phone, gave him a kiss and snuck out around 1:10am. I got home around 1:30 due to no traffic and texted him that I made it and was sorry.

The next day at 7am I received 20 angry texts from him. He was upset that I had left and didn’t wake him up. He was also upset I left his front door unlocked, even though I don’t have a key. I tried explaining that I felt very unwell and needed my emergency medication. However he was upset I didn’t get him up as he could have went and got it. After I explaining I tried my hardest and thought it was best to leave, he said that I put him at risk and made him anxious in the morning.

We haven’t talked in a few days because of this fight/argument.

My friends are divided on whether I should have stayed or if it was alright for me to go home. Two of my friends are siding with him, basically saying I should always keep my emergency medicine on me and that I placed him in a vulnerable spot by leaving. However I personally disagree as I did everything I could to stay but was only getting worse.

Am I the asshole for leaving my boyfriends in the middle of the night without telling him due to a panic attack?