AIO - An acquaintance announced on social media that I'd DIED a few weeks after I had emergency surgery

I am in this online professional networking group that is rather niche. Trying to keep it vague here. A

Here is the timeline:

  • In Mid-Jan, I had an emergency surgery.
  • In Late Jan, this guy from the group pinged me to say hi, see if I was okay because i hadn't been online. I told him thanks, I'm fine, just had a ilttle health snag and i'm recovering nicely. No response from him.
  • I didn't share this with too many people - including not him or anyone in the group - but recovery was a bit rough. I had to really prioritize a lot if things, and online professional netwokring groups like that didn't make the cut.. But nothing to be alarmed about, I kept it to myself. But there was NO communication from him from late Jan to Early-Mid March. I didn't think much of it.
  • Early/Mid March, I got a ping from guy asking why I'd suddenly gone quiet. He sounded a little irritated. I replied, apologized, just said I'd had too much going on and thanks for checking in. He gave a cordial response. NBD.
  • Mid March (a few days ago) I logged into the online group... and saw that in mid-Feb he had made this huge, dramatic post claiming I'd "suddenly gotten very ill and DIED" and how tragic it was.

I said absolutely nothing to give anyone this impression that either had happened. If you know me personally - which he doesn't - you will know that I have a neurological disability that means stuff like a virus, etc will hit me a lot harder than it does able-bodied people.

But DIED? I don't know where he would get that information and I'm absolutely fucking furious he would say such a thing. You don't just throw shit like that around when discussing a disabled, chronically ill person who's been struggling recently with her health.

A couple key reference points:

1) I'm usually the first to make wisecracks. It's not that i don't have a sense of humor. many people wish i had LESS of one. :)

2) My friends (real life) have told me it's messed-up what he did, but they agree with me that part of why I'm upset isn't all about what he did - it's also about something bigger.

Specifically, I resent having a disability (it came about in a very unpleasant way). Also, I and others have noticed a pattern where sometimes people just expect too GD much of me - and that this began after my disability came about. My therapist and I are actively working on both my internalized ableism and setting better expectations with others.

A family member of mine - who saw the post and called me to ask WTF - thinks I need to give dude more grace and that I should have been better about keeping in touch/keeping people updated.

I'm LIVID that he made that assumption and then made such an outlandish claim. That is NOT OKAY to say about someone with a disability that yes - you can die of if for some reason your medical care gets yanked.

I did not respond to the dude or post in the group yet because I'm so furious I can't even.

Who overreacted here?