AIO ~ single married mom

the relationship was going good, until the last month of pregnancy. he was moderately supportive up until then, until ..I guess reality hit him? we’ve tried to make this work but it seems like we’re incompatible… I’ve tried everything…

my husband (22m) and I (23f) just got married, but reality is… I feel as if it (marriage) was pushed onto me, because I can’t support my son by myself, along with the bills I owe… I don’t have anyone who can watch my son while I’m at work. we got engaged shortly after I found out I was pregnant… and I had the invitations already made and told people the date of the wedding, so I felt I had to get married… but the spark’s been gone for a long time… I’ve tried to rekindle the flame, but nothing I do ever sticks…

I know it makes me seem like an a-hole, but I can’t afford myself or my son without him in this day and age… I thought things would get better too… I really do want a relationship with him, but we’re just not truly right for each other…

flash forward to now… we’ve had countless arguments of him not being there for his son. he gets angry if he’s pulled away from his games (& etc) when he has to help take care of his son. I, however, don’t have time to even think about doing anything to take care of myself, because I have no help in the situation. most of the time, I don’t even have time to take a shower... I haven’t gotten proper sleep in so long, but he has the free time to do whatever he pleases… he’s been distant, wanting nothing to do with me or my son, and I fear he could be cheating…. there’s a lot more to that, but that would take ages to type out on that suspicion…

before my son was born, he was very excited…but as time went by, he became more distant, and requiring me to keep up with the housework without helping me, 9mo into pregnancy… come to the day I gave birth, he wanted nothing to do with him. he slept through my entire labor and the whole day after I gave birth, not helping me with my son at all… postpartum happened, and again, he wasn’t helping at all with the baby… requiring me to keep up with housework, asking me to grab things for him while he played his game… never allowing me to rest or sleep after giving birth, and I did have stitches so it was hard for me to get around… but who else was going to do it?

my son is now currently 2mo old, and nothing’s gotten better… my husband is very aggressive with him, and around him when he has to help take care of him. he’s scared me a couple of times in the matter… his rage scares me, he’s thrown things, handles my son aggressively, but then he has some days that he’s playing with him, but at the same time, gets mad every time he has to be a parent while feeding or changing him. it’s like he likes the idea of being a parent, but when it comes down to it, he wants nothing to do with the situation…

I don’t know what I should do…am I overreacting? I’m just so exhausted and I feel I have no help anywhere… house chores are getting behind because I purely don’t have energy… I’m not sleeping…I have no time for myself, so I feel I don’t exist as a person anymore…I feel alone in this.