AIO My bf(25) views on cheating are concerning. What should I do? (this is long

i (23f) have been with my bf(25m) for 3 years. for context he has had hard substance issues since he was young and had sobered up since but i have spent the better half of my relationship with him going through the sobering process on and off with very very hard times in between. to get to the point my bf while sober is a wonderful man the best you could ask for and ideal for me minus some emotional unavailability (which we are working on, but keep in mind currently he is 100% sober for a year so some things take time bc the substance he was using affects his mental/ thought process and emotions and its hard to be 100% normal after years of use right away) i have the patience of a saint not to brag but facts are facts and i am very lenient, but not a pushover and i am understanding fromm all points of view bc that's who i am as a person, which is why iv'e stuck with him all these years and not left inspite of all the shit i've been put through, bc i believe in pushin past all limits. this is important for the next part.

about a year and 6 months into our relationship while under the influence he cheated on me with someone who was apparantly 'lesbian' (not that it matters, but i just thought that's weird bc at least claim bi if you do both. dont lie to save face to get me not to be as mad) who was also using. they knew about me and according to them had 'frequent convos ab me'. not i was pissed and i left him for a bit bc i was enraged. and got back together with him after some time had passed and he sobered up.( he was always on and off, but i chose to always give him the benefit of the doubt bc he told me once that' noone has ever stayed with me through it and it just makes it even worse bc i feel like im lost alone and have no reason to quit' so i made a conscious decision to stay then and there no matter what regarding that specific issue. i own up to that stupid tho it may be, but it has seemingly worked in retrospect giving the amount of time has passed in his current sober state) i got back with him and he profusely apologized i got my lick back by making him do inconvenient things for me bc im passive aggressive and we all know this, which he happily obliged to bc he felt it was the least he could do. it was not agreed upon, but in return i never brought up the situation again to this day after we talked it out and settled things bc i got my lick back that i wanted and it was handled in my eyes after that. we go through happy as ever with one final relapse that tore through us like never before and was honestly all the above for everything thing that is all holy and gracious in this world the most toxic / abusive relationship in the world, but i did not break my promise and stuck with it bc i keep my word and i knew in the back of my head that this wasn't him it's the drugs and that fact is true. which brings us to now where he is a year sober and we have had the healthiest relationship ever and he has found himself again and is wonderful.

my issue is yesterday we were talking about a post that concerned me and i wanted to talk about it bc i was like wow this is too controversial not to share( he likes controversial things and conversation topics) and it was about this man cheating on his pregnant wife with several different woman while lying and gaslighting her about it while she has been providing for this man from the start and all she wanted was for him to choose going with her to baby's appointments over going to bars and dates with women 'from work'' after work during appt. times. then it turns out contrary to what he'd been telling her he'd actually been hooking up with these women and one of the jealous side chicks that got lied to by him decided to tell the wife and all that good jazz. which in no way relates to our previous situation bc circumstances were totally different and we buried his infidelity in the past so we've even had conversations like this before no issue. i believed the things that were done by the man were wrong in every way, but my bf not so much. he was so indifferent about it saying that it didn't really matter and if hes providing(which he wasn't the wife was) then why is it an issue to go out with his coworkers. i told him that that wasn't the case and that he was actually cheating on her with those women and the wife just wanted to be chosen over them, especially since the are expecting and she just wanted him to be honest about it. i was on the woman's side bc wtf and i understand the pain she's coming from . and after i told him this he was just silent and brushing it off and it concerns me bc i thought he understood that it's wrong especially after what he did to me an saw the pain he put me through. though it was handled he still should have learned from it and fixed his views on it imo. hearing his thoughts followed with obvious '' i don't agree with you'' silence and facial expressions after that from him sober was shocking.

am i overthinking in being concerned about this, or do i need to let it go? r/saywhatevertfyouwant i created this community as well to talk about other things like this

update: i talked to him about what he meant by what he said and he said that he was sorry he wasn't really understanding my point and was just hearing what he wanted to and thought that the fl was keeping him from friends just bc she was pregnant and didnt hear what i said about her being the main provider. he just heard ' main provider' and starting giving his opinion and then he also explained that his 'i don't agree with you look' in silence was not that, but bc it reminded him of us and he didn't say anything bc he felt he had no right to say anything on that bc he had also cheated once.