SINISISI KO ANG TITA KO SA PAGKAMATAY NG PINSAN KO.
Meron akong Tita na medyo out of the line yung pagiging madamot at mataas ang tingin sa sarili. And to understand her perspective, siya kasi yung laging meron sa pamilya nila at nakakatulong (although madalas kailangan mong tanawan siya ng utang na loob dahil dyan). And since ganon nga, siguro out of respect na din kaya we ALL let it pass and suck out our ego - usual Filipino Culture I suppose.
However, 2 years ago, I have this cousin who was at that time in his darkest moment and in the brink of loosing due to delusional paranoia.
To cut the story short, I was alerted by my other cousin about his condition as it was really alarming and awful. May mga thoughts siya na may nag-spy daw sa kanya etc. As in sobrang lala nung mga thoughts nya. Now, ang gusto naming maging action is to bring him to my other cousin’s place para dun muna siya mag stay and mag unwind (we thought of this kasi alam namin na kapag kasama nya yung isa pa naming pinsang iyon eh makakapag relax sya at at least kumalma ang isip nya - siya yung cousin na nag alert sa akin about the situation).
And here’s what happened, my car was not available that time so I/we asked my other cousin na anak ni Tita on this subject to help us bring our cousin dun sa place I mentioned (My other cousin’s place where we like to bring him was 2 Hours away). Tapos ayun even this cousin na anak ni Tita nagsabi na wag na magpaalam sa Mama nya kasi malamang di kami papayagan. Pero hindi ako pumayag, I said, kailangan nating maging honest kasi hindi biro ang sitwasyon ni ******. So ayun, I called my Tita and told her about the situation and our plans to help my cousin out. BUT she freaked out, and MAD about it! Bakit daw di namin sabihin sa Mother ni Cousin, baka maggagala lang daw kami at kung saan saan dalhin ang kotse nila. She even called yung mother ni cousin telling about the situation. And mas nakaka-sad din dun eh nagalit at napagsabihan din yung pinsan kong iyon na kesyo nasa isip lang daw etc. Ignoring and invalidating his mental state. I also learned na naka-impake na yung gamit nya and ready talaga siya sa paghahatid namin sa kanya sa place ng isa naming pinsan. I pm’d him sa messenger and this was one of the last conversation we had.
2 weeks after this, my cousin took his own life. 😢 all the evidences about this was in his phone, his thoughts and plan of taking his own life was written on the notes app of his phone. He even had some browser search history about how to take life painlessly etc.
I really want this off my chest kasi up until this moment, yung tita ko ang sinisisi ko sa pagkamatay ng pinsan ko 😭 and I am not sure how I can take justice about it.
Meron akong Tita na medyo out of the line yung pagiging madamot at mataas ang tingin sa sarili. And to understand her perspective, siya kasi yung laging meron sa pamilya nila at nakakatulong (although madalas kailangan mong tanawan siya ng utang na loob dahil dyan). And since ganon nga, siguro out of respect na din kaya we ALL let it pass and suck out our ego - usual Filipino Culture I suppose.
However, 2 years ago, I have this cousin who was at that time in his darkest moment and in the brink of loosing due to delusional paranoia.
To cut the story short, I was alerted by my other cousin about his condition as it was really alarming and awful. May mga thoughts siya na may nag-spy daw sa kanya etc. As in sobrang lala nung mga thoughts nya. Now, ang gusto naming maging action is to bring him to my other cousin’s place para dun muna siya mag stay and mag unwind (we thought of this kasi alam namin na kapag kasama nya yung isa pa naming pinsang iyon eh makakapag relax sya at at least kumalma ang isip nya - siya yung cousin na nag alert sa akin about the situation).
And here’s what happened, my car was not available that time so I/we asked my other cousin na anak ni Tita on this subject to help us bring our cousin dun sa place I mentioned (My other cousin’s place where we like to bring him was 2 Hours away). Tapos ayun even this cousin na anak ni Tita nagsabi na wag na magpaalam sa Mama nya kasi malamang di kami papayagan. Pero hindi ako pumayag, I said, kailangan nating maging honest kasi hindi biro ang sitwasyon ni ******. So ayun, I called my Tita and told her about the situation and our plans to help my cousin out. BUT she freaked out, and MAD about it! Bakit daw di namin sabihin sa Mother ni Cousin, baka maggagala lang daw kami at kung saan saan dalhin ang kotse nila. She even called yung mother ni cousin telling about the situation. And mas nakaka-sad din dun eh nagalit at napagsabihan din yung pinsan kong iyon na kesyo nasa isip lang daw etc. Ignoring and invalidating his mental state. I also learned na naka-impake na yung gamit nya and ready talaga siya sa paghahatid namin sa kanya sa place ng isa naming pinsan. I pm’d him sa messenger and this was one of the last conversation we had.
2 weeks after this, my cousin took his own life. 😢 all the evidences about this was in his phone, his thoughts and plan of taking his own life was written on the notes app of his phone. He even had some browser search history about how to take life painlessly etc.
I really want this off my chest kasi up until this moment, yung tita ko ang sinisisi ko sa pagkamatay ng pinsan ko 😭 and I am not sure how I can take justice about it.