Im in a situation

(20M) I don’t even know where to start, I wish I could talk about this instead of typing cuz there’s a lot so you might be in for a long read but I don’t really know who to talk about this with, so I would really appreciate if you stuck around.

4 years ago, when I was 16, I moved to Mexico, I used to live in Canada, all my life. I had to leave everyone behind. My grandparents, friends, my childhood, home. 4 years can feel like a long time. I’m 20 now. Gonna be 21 this July. I’ve gotten pretty used to living here in Mexico, although I haven’t made any friends, I’ve kinda just been doing my own thing, I got into making beats, worked a couple jobs here, right now im doing caregiving and studying online. I got 2 little brothers, 8 and 10 years old, 3 dogs, and a mom and dad. But recently my family was considering moving back, but Canada still isnt doing all that well and we came to terms that it’s a better idea to stay here in Mexico. My parents say I can go back to Canada to kinda get out there and start my life, get a job, and meet some people, and they’re encouraging me to do so. It’s been very lonely here, but I get by, kinda the same day every day. But I was thinking about it… I think I would have a hard time leaving my family behind, my dogs, and my brothers especially. My dogs literally get sad when I’m not home. They’re my babies yk. But, I also wanna thrive for myself and be independent and work hard. If I go back I would be staying with my grandparents, who I really miss and I haven’t seen in quite a while. But I’m scared I might be even more lonely there. The worst times of my life was in Canada, I was drinking, smoking, doing other drugs since the age of 14, I’ve really got my shit together but I’m having a hard time breaking this nicotine addiction, which is just horrible. I haven’t had friendship in a long time or even spoke with a fellow white person (in person) in a long time lol, not even kidding lmao. And I’m nervous, and I really dont know what to do. What do you think? I don’t expect anyone to have an answer for me, because how could you? This is up to me to decide, but I gotta think about it. I don’t really have any friends back in Canada anymore, so I’d have to be really fkn strong and hopefully make some but… I don’t even really believe in friends anymore tbh, the people I grew up with all drank and did bum shit, other then my best friend who has stuck around for me since I’ve left.

Lmk what you think and thank you before hand. I have a couple weeks to decide.

Edit: I’m kinda like the rock in my family… My parents fight a lot but I’ve always been around for it, so if I’m not there, idk how my moms gonna do, she’s done it before though when I went back to Canada to finish high school. But I keep her sane, I do my best to love her because she has also had a hard time with this move too. My dad works here now.

I’m gonna post this in some other subreddits as well