PLEASE help. Worst acne I’ve ever see on anyone. Accutane is now off limits / had severe side effects.

Is there anyone in the world who has had acne that looks like mine? I can not find anything on google , social media , etc. nothing looks like mine. They’re huge disfiguring cysts that refuse to close and birth other cysts. The onset was rapid and has ruined my life. I’ve tried multiple medications all that have given me serious side effects and I have very bad health issues. This condition had me in the mental hospital for months. The dermatologists refuse to do any sort of cosmetic intervention, surgery, etc I’ve even reached out to plastic surgeons. I’ve tried diets. I’m at such a loss. I feel so so so alone. I am so depressed from this. I can’t live like this and it seems like if you can’t accutane you’re fucked. And I don’t even know what this is. This is beyond any acne I’ve ever had. It’s PUFFY as hell , so gross , constantly filling up with blood , spreads everywhere , and leaves open wounds that won’t close. I’d feel better if anyone even just went through similar. I can’t find any similar looking acne anywhere. This is hell.