AITAH for “cheating” on my abusive ex?

(This is a past relationship, broke up a year ago but still feel guilty).

Through my relationship T (just the initial for privacy), was always verbally abusive — screaming at me, calling me the worst things you could imagine type of abusive. However, I loved this man more than I loved anything in the world, including myself. He promised to work on it and I agreed.

One night at his friend’s party, he was flirting with another woman and letting her drink out of his drinks and rub all over him, etc. I stepped in and politely but sternly told the girl (for the 3rd time that night) that he was my boyfriend and if she continued her ways, we would have a problem. I then went to the bathroom with a friend to discuss what her and I both witnessed, and T barged in demanding to speak to me. When I let him in, he told me to apologize to her and when I said no, he threw me into a wall (and dented the wall while he was at it). I then ran outside to get some air and he followed me after his friend came out to talk to me, after seeing what happened. He told the friend to leave, and when the friend left he began screaming at me. I wasn’t even responding, I was just sobbing and begging him to stop so nobody would hear. He continued, and then told me to “get the fxxx out of his life.” So I called our roommate (his best friend) and had him come get me. We all lived together and were close, so this wasn’t a big deal.

The friend was given shit for picking me up (while I was sobbing in a ball gown in the pouring down rain with no ride home). That night, my ex went as far as to call my mother and tell her that she needed to move me across country because he was done with me. He came home that night begging for forgiveness, and I tried for another month to make things work, but I couldn’t get over the moment he put his hands on me.

One night while we were drunken at home, my roommate (T’s best friend) kissed me, and I let him. Nothing went further. When I realized (about a minute in) that he kissed me, I told him to go to his room and that was it. After that, I tried to break up with T (following morning). T refused to move out, and I was homeless if he made me, so we decided to stay in the same room (broken up) until we could figure it out. We got back together and I tried breaking up with him again, and he wouldn’t accept it. I finally told him about the kiss, and he immediately packed his things and moved out. For weeks after, T told me and the best friend to ki** ourselves and that we were awful people, plus more that I shouldn’t say here.

T constantly reminded me of how he was the only person that loved me, and refused me seeing my family or talking to my mom. Always told me how I’m the reason my father doesn’t love me. So I guess my question is… a year later after feeling so much guilt and blame, AITAH or am I feeling the guilt and blame of the abusive relationship?