AITAH for not visiting my dad’s girlfriend in the hospital?

I’ll try and keep this brief.

My mother passed 2 summers ago. My father basically ignored the cancer and went to approximately 0 treatments. He dissociated for the most part, and left me (31m) to handle appointments and medications. I didn’t mind. I loved my mom and knew time was growing kinda thin. If chemo and immunotherapy were how we got to hangout? So be it. I watched her wither away, and eventually, pass.

Fast forward maybe.. 3 months. He’s got a girlfriend. She’s 10+ years younger and he asked If I was okay with it. I gave my blessing and said, “hey man, so long as you’re happy.” She (we’ll call her Beth) is a nice enough person, and I truly don’t mind her at all. She tries hard to make Me feel like family. And “moms” me at Times. But her hearts in the right place.

Recently, she has a pretty serious medical set back and is hospitalized. She’s stable but she’s been at the hospital for a few weeks. The hospital is about a 20 minute drive from my place. (My dad and Beth live 2 hours away, but the nearest viable hospital is actually close to my new home. My dad has been at The hospital almost every day.

So, it irks me that he manages to make time For this person, when he didn’t give that same treatment and care for my mother, and his wife of nearly 30 years, while she slowly died Of cancer. And instead, had his son deal With it. And now, I’m expected to make the hospital a part of my daily existence all over again for his girlfriend.

So, AITAH for not wanting to visit? Maybe I’m being too harsh, or letting past pain cloud my judgement. My wife agrees with me whole-heartedly, but she’s my forever person. She will always side with me. Even if I’m wrong. But, am I?