Didn’t know what Reddit was until found husband of 5 years (heavy reddit user) sexually explicit convos with multiple females across multiple apps. So here goes my first post.

It’s been a brutal night with absolutely no sleep. Two days ago, while I was making a call from his phone, notifications popped up on Snapchat. Without thinking, I clicked on them—and to my shock, I found multiple conversations with different women. Naturally, I opened them and what I saw was beyond my worst nightmare. There were sexually explicit conversations, including naked pictures and videos. I could barely believe my eyes. There was no way this was happening. He could never be capable of something like this. He’s EXTREMELY family-oriented. He’s super close to his mom. He’s a Muslim. He prays five times a day. He always swears he loves me and can’t live without me. This has to be a mistake, right?

I also checked his messenger and found similar sexually explicit conversations with other girls. Looking back, I realize I should’ve noticed something sooner. He was always so protective of his phone. I never asked him for his password—he knew mine. I trusted him completely. I even let him go on trip with his friends. I was so naive.

I can’t stress enough how impossible it seemed for this to be true. I would have put my hand in the fire and sworn I trusted him with everything I had.

For context, two days ago, we had just returned from an amazing two-week vacation. Things were going well between us. Yes, we’ve had our fair share of fights and have come close to breaking up several times, but we’d been working on ourselves, and things were actually starting to improve.

Anyway, I confronted him right away. I told him I needed to go through his phone, but he quickly snatched it away. He claimed his friend was logged into his account and was the one sending all the messages. I desperately wanted to believe him, especially since his friend was totally capable of something like that. I insisted he unlock his phone, but he refused. I was determined to check everything, but in the end, I handed him back his phone and told him that the next day, he’d have to show me everything on it. He said he needed to talk to his friend in person, man to man, to address the situation.

The next day, he showed me the latest messages from Snapchat which included a picture his friend had sent some girl. What a coincidence, right? Deep down, I knew he was lying, but I still wanted to believe it. I let him off the hook, trusting that he’d open his phone for me after he spoke to his friend. When he came back, he unlocked it and said I could keep it for as long as I wanted. He was clearly nervous, but somehow still had the nerve to say the following to me.

“”””I swear there were many many times I felt lonely and craving your love and attention, but you were too busy working. I called you out so many times. But I swear still it never crossed my mind to ever do you bogus. I swear to god not playing victim but this is how my ex also fucking doubted me and I left her. You doubted me, trust will never be wholesome again. You'll always have doubts no matter what I do. No matter what I do. And you're crying as if I did wrong or did you bogus. I never did. But now I want to tbh. Here I am driving in such a bad condition I'm literally coughing blood and can't sleep. Only reason I came to talk to friend is because you didn't see but he had shared my pic on Snapchat that had me over the edge, but of course l'm wrong. I'm sorry for breaking your trust despite not breaking your trust.”””

The gaslighting is unreal. I knew exactly what I had seen. When I grabbed his phone, the first thing I looked for were the messages I’d seen earlier—and of course, they were gone. So I started going through the rest of the messages. He deleted them, but I’m not stupid. I found the deleted messages. Some were a couple of girls not much on those convos. Then, I found the deleted chats with his friend—hilarious. He was begging his friend to do him a favor, saying his life depended on it. He asked him to log into his computer with my husband’s Snapchat and Reddit accounts. He wanted him to start conversations with random girls, and I’m sure he deleted a ton of other stuff. My heart sank. I’ve never felt such an emptiness in my heart and soul. I was speechless, no reaction—just numb as I kept scrolling through everything.

They had it all planned out. I spent four hours combing through every app on his phone. To my surprise, it wasn’t just Snapchat and Messenger—those were just the beginning. There was also an app called Pinger and of course Reddit which I didn’t even know of these apps. Pinger I couldn’t access, but I saw that he’d specifically asked his friend to mess around on that app, too. I even found evidence of him actively using the dating function within the Facebook app (I didn’t even know there was a dating app with Facebook 😂)Lol. To sum it up, about 90% of what I was still able to find was on Snapchat, of course, he had deleted a lot of it. I’m just too smart, though, and found a ton of other stuff. Countless messages with multiple women—sexually explicit videos and pictures, commenting on other girls' appearances, asking girls to meet him at the gym. I even learned that he might have stopped by some of these girls' houses on his way to the gym. Some of them were sharing their addresses. Imagine how much more shit was there prior to deletion - MY GOD!

What made it even worse was finding messages that went all the way back to when we first started dating—pretty much every year from 2016 to 2024. Including 2019 and 2021, when we had our wedding celebrations. Let’s just take a moment to let that sink in.

Of course I snapped pictures of the most explicit stuff I found.

While I was going through all this, he was speaking to me in this loud, defensive tone, saying he couldn’t be with me after this because I didn’t trust him that it was his friend all along LOL. He honestly thought I wasn’t going to find anything and was going to flip it on me, acting like the victim because I didn’t believe him. I just stayed silent, numb, but inside, I was dying.

After I was done and felt sure of what I had found, I messaged his friend (whom I actually liked, I’d met him a few times, and he was funny). I told him to never underestimate a woman who doubts her man, because we turn into the FBI when we’re suspicious. I told him I found all the deleted messages between them two. I also told his friend that my husband had sworn on his mother’s name and on God that he hadn’t done anything wrong. I told him that regardless of their efforts, his Snapchat was basically a porn site, and it was surprising how many women were involved and I specifically mentioned that I couldn’t find the things I had seen the first day which were : one of the women he’d been messaging had my same name (savage!). Another one was getting sexually explicit messages from him, and the last one was a series of sexually explicit videos with an older woman. Honestly, I’m a little better looking than her, and that gave me just a tiny bit of comfort.

At the end, I put his phone in the restroom , didn’t say a word to him, and quietly left in the middle of the night with a few bags. I drove, crying, down the highway until I somehow made it to my parents’ house.

It’s 10 AM now, and I haven’t slept a minute. I’m in complete shock. We were planning to start trying for a baby this year—I’d even bought my prenatal vitamins the day I found those messages, right before I was about to start them. I never imagined my life without him. Now, I’m completely lost. I love him so much, but this is beyond repair.

As I cried my eyes out, I got a message from him. Can you guess what it said?Can you tell what are his priorities, excuses and concerns? Msg below. i read it and cleared my tears. He’s not worth it. Now, I feel nothing but disgust for him, and I’m already scheduling a health check ASAP. So fucking many females across multiple apps !

“””Me when i left: I fucking loved you to death”””

“””Him: I loved you to death as well, and I will do so even if my death happens today. You deserve better. So much I wanna say so much I want to tell you and explain the why, but l'll leave it. You deserve better. Just kinda sad that you messaged [his friend] all that, all the stuff you could have talked to me about. He's a big mouth and now the entire world will know. Which is fine but just wish you would have talked to me about it. I can't justify the lying or the chat exchanges, but god knows that I never met anyone in person. So often we would fight, so often l'd feel so distant, so often I'd need intimacy from you but wouldn't get it. I'm sorry l'm such a shitty person. I swear I felt closer to you ever this trip. You deserve better. Just know that I won't be able to survive much without you.”””

He always bragged that he’s not into social media apps LMAO, he said pretty much only Snapchat he’s the only person I know with Snapchat, now I know why.

I also learned that most of his lady contacts came from Reddit chats hence the reason I am here today. Let’s bring it full circle ! Should i reveal his reddit username? lol Do you believe he was never actually physical with anybody? lol is there any therapist that can tell me about his personality? There’s definitely something wrong with him right??? It is way too many girls across multiple apps.

And finally- Who the fuck did I marry?!